Senator Al Franken and the Foxies: The Real Fake Truth in a REAL TIRADE
Barbara Molloy’s REAL BLOG
Please and Of Course. Now I read this (New York Times, Nov. 18, 2017) in a letter to the editor--- (Arlene Hellerman) “The writer, former editor of On Writing, volunteered with Mr. Franken for The Writers Guild East:
…“added to all this is the fact that Mr. Franken’s accuser, Leeann Tweeden, is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity’s show, and Roger Stone, a former Trump campaign adviser, knew about her accusation before she went public.”
Ms. Hellerman asks this succinct question in her letter to the editor:
“Is it only a coincidence that this woman (Tweeden) found her voice just when Roy Moore is under attack and Donald Trump is being pressured to say something about him?”
Gee, let me take a gander.
There is sexual assault…. A very real, traumatic, life-upending sexual invasion of a person --- And there is dumb, sophomoric, stupid, regrettable, awkward, insensitive, dumb and stupid (again) embarrassingly bad behavior! And then there is comedy, jokes. You know, stuff that makes you laugh because it imitates that above bad behavior..
You can’t even say “sleazy” here in writing about Franken’s behavior because in the infamous picture where he’s supposedly “groping” Tweeden---he seems only to ask for laughs at the EXPENSE of sleaze by PRETENDING to be groping her breasts!
In the photo of the two of them taken on an airplane some 10 years ago when they were performing for troops… Franken appears to be giving Tweeden’s boobies the same little ‘hey diddle diddle’ the joy sticks on his X-box game probably receive from his LIBERAL Franken fingers! I mean does this photo not make it look like Al is spinning dials on some imagined flat screen in front of him as he leans into a ‘feigned groping’ of Ms.Tweeden’s bosom? Please.
And, does this picture not demonstrate IRONY rather than sex abuse? Pray tell. Irony--- What’s that you ask… unless you’re one of those DISGUSTING college educated types who actually READ Jonathan Swift at some point in your elitist Fox-News-deprived college squandered life!
True satire is not true sleaze you say?
Oh how that question must infuriate Sean Hannity who is used to reading Playboy at an 8th grade level and who--- although he admits he is “NOT A JOURNALIST”--- has hair and pens a-plenty to tap on his real life Fox News desk to do the more difficult work of PRETENDING TO BE ONE on T.V. He, Sean Hannity, giver of “news-talk” job to one Leann Tweeden, must be tying himself in quasi-journalistic knots right now as word is getting out outside the Fox News Gated-Bubble that:
1. Ms. Tweeden is on his absolutely professional pretend journalist side……. And 2. Franken the sex predator is calling for a rematch in the “world of reality.”
That is… Franken is ASKING for himself to be INVESTIGATED on this matter ASAP…. Just like Roy Moore wants to be investi……. Err ummm… Anyways, Franken has also apologized.
Still, let’s get to the real fake news inside the news at this point in my REAL blog. In real life of Sean Hannity there is a real God of the real America where football players, many of them black, get a lot of money for playing a sport Hannity enjoys -----but is now being ruined by the same black men who make enough money to pay for infinite concussions now and later in life! How? They are kneeling and bowing with their helmets held to their hearts as the National Anthem is played. What’s wrong with that you ask? I DON’T KNOW! Moreover, what has it got to do with Senator Franken? Nothing. We’re talking about Sean Hannity now. And Sean Hannity appears to be excellent friends/colleagues with guess who? Leeann Tweeden. (I was going to title this blog: “Oh How Muddled the Plot Can Be When First We Practice Hannity!”)
So, about Hannity. He, Sean Hannity, believes in America and Christmas and football, the Flag and Roy Moore! This is the true story, dear reader. It is why Al Franken MUST be a sexual predator----not only even without, or before, or in the LACK of REAL evidence. But especially BECAUSE of that real LACK of REAL evidence! For, you see, Senator Franken is a LIBERAL. And he has had the gall (we will return to that word later in another context) to call out Fox News when it is being less than genuine in its attempt to distract from truthiness in its dire effort(s) to make it clear that CLEAVAGE really does matter as much as or MORE than CREDENTIALS when it comes to news. In other words, Fox News is the real fake thing for a GOOD REASON: It has a BIG AUDIENCE SHARE.
What about Franken? He is a liberal senator who is successful in REALITY for doing a real successful job in real post-comedian life--- mostly because he is probably a decent person going about his real life real job as Senator in real Minnesota. And it is precisely a place like Minnesota where a guy like Al Franken can be a real menace to a guy like real Sean Hannity.
You see Sean Hannity represents rea-life-fake-news about real stuff. Sean Hannity’s world is the REAL FAKE HATE LIBERAL SENATORS WHILE BEING PAID real-big BUCKS FOR IT real thing GUY..um WORLD. It is THIS world that Al Franken threatens to take from Sean and subsequently, all Americans. HOW? WHY does Franken besmirch that world? The word LIBERAL raises its ugly head yet again. Yes, not just a SENATOR but a Liberal one. You spit and snarl as you pronounce the word: LIBERAL (I hope!).
All the things that every day we witness being stolen from us as real Americans---chunk by chunk---inch by variegated inch---like cheap Mexican labor or Uranium--- in front of Sean Hannity’s real fake journalistic AMERICAN eyes ---are being taken by LIBERALS! And if you are one, it’s being taken from Sean Hannity and all FOX NEWS/FAIR AND BALANCED REAL fake news..by ….YOU….. and ME!
What is IT we’re taking you ask? Nothing LESS than Something BIG and AMERICAN and constant… something that is SO BIG it is like all America from the Atlantic to the Pacific but---yet is also just small enough to fit on a red baseball cap. What is THAT? I DON’T KNOW but it’s GREAT!!
Back to Franken in the aforementioned picture. He, this LIBERAL Senator who used to be a comedian but stopped as soon as he hit the Senate… is shown to fake “steal a feel” from a REAL AMERICAN Playboy CENTERFOLD-cum-pretend-JOURNALIST on a real American Airplane which was shepherding himself (the ‘liberal’-snarl-as-you-say-it Senator) and Ms. Tweeden to and from a U.S.O. Holiday performance in or about the year 2006…a time prior to Franken’s being anything but a lousy liberal with a comedy job on T.V. where ----- as a comedian ---- he often faked being real for real LAUGHS. I do not need to capitalize all this in the future because you’re getting it now RIGHT?
And gall-darnit I’m sorry but I happen to LIKE FRANKEN! I like him in the senate just fine but I still miss SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE from his ERA. I liked him on Saturday Night Live and in the too few movies he made! I think Franken’s FUNNY…to this day…especially that face, when he does the earnest-yet-completely-dumb college fraternity boy routine of looking blundering in a way he wishes was not. So, to me, yes, it’s VERY funny this dopey photo. The way he looks at the imagined audience for his gag as he feigns a feel job on the sleeping-upright-in her airplane-seat-beauty: Leeann Tweeden.
But pleeeeeaaase….For all our sakes past and future, can we distinguish? Can we use our real brains? Or, should we all join Al in jail now…or: J.A.I.J.N! For, please tell me which germ free bubbled unstained perfect seamless absolutely stick person of a human being has not been to a sleep over where this type of “fun that should not be had” was central to the FUN! If this picture is indicative of the work of a sexual predator on the lam… I say we start policing sleep-overs employing the same officers Trump wants not-to protect-our elitist-liberal-heads as they shove us into the LAM-WAGON because we are simply NOT to be Trusted as A SPECIES.
Come’on. We don’t even have to know that Franken worked professionally with his accuser or that there is plenty of photo footage available of the “victim” of this not so funny (but maybe worth a few giggles if you’re me) photo where she’s grabbing mens’ bottoms in her own real “take” on Leeann goes to the U.S.O. fake “performance art.”
A man who knows his ‘victim’ as an associate he’s working with on a US.O. tour… who will be a senator in the FUTURE but is not one now… pretends a ‘take’ on the photo-op a guy feeling up a girl while she sleeps? And we’re going to hold this guy accountable as a potential sexual criminal? As fore-mentioned, the photo doesn’t show him actually “feel her up” in the biblical sense (is there such a thing??) No… he “feigns a feel.” As in “colleague gets his jocks off while female colleague naps in utterly alluring jungle-motif combat fatigues (talk about temptation!) sense. And, this is faking temptation for a JOKE…. as in you’re supposed to LAUGH just like you would if it were a skit on SNL… which it could have been, maybe was, or was going to be back in fake real 2006 or 2007…
“Wink wink” says Franken’s wide-eyed juvenile expression in this real pretend photo! His is the glory of a 15-year old who just opened his lunch box to show his best friend Louie the latest Playboy centerfold cut-out he’s scotch-taped inside. Please.
Please, please, please. This just in from Jane (the slut) who was his counterpart on that funny show SNL: (Please hear Jane Curtain’s voice)…“Al Franken appears to be getting away with appearing to be touching …almost… the fully clothed (in fatigues?) breasts of one Leeann (is every girl who aspires to be a playboy model named Leeann?) Tweeden on a plane headed to entertain our military on holiday whilst his counterpart in the U.S. Senate somewhere in reality is escorted in handcuffs away--- yet again--- from Mall of America for merely ‘loitering’ as he usually does near the Jenny Clare Accessories for Girls store with his zipper at barn opening hour.”
Please. Can we at least make a GRAMMATICAL denotation between someone “getting away with murder” and someone PRETENDING to be getting away with it? For God’s sakes. Do we not register cognitively the important difference therein? If not, what say you Shakespeare… what say you Sister Bernadette, what say ye’ older white demographic American patriot?
Should the sleeping Tweeden nod awake as plane turbulence interrupts---jolts her to alert position---what would the wish-she-was-nude now khaki-clad subject of a photographer’s opportune lens discover? Pray tell, Al Franken pretending to play with her boobies in the manner of a pervie juvey while she jet-lagged! Please please with a cherry on top…. Even if he slipped her a micky 20 minutes before… he’d have had to do so in front of the photographer at least! That means there were cognizant witnesses on board the alleged sex-scandaled flight!
Yes. I am here making fun of something sort of funny for the sake of illustrating what I think should be BOTH less and more funny in certain ways than it appears to be. This is not even about Al Franken in a dubious photo anymore. This is about us --- you and me DEAR READER. It is about our …um…STUPIDITY as viewers of pictures and news and everything in between in the year 2017 (about to be 2018)! For we have become profoundly, news-worthily in real time STUPID if this picture causes us shock and apprehension … never mind makes us blush…
I don’t care that it’s Al Franken the liberal senator from Minnesota who was once one of my favorite comedians on that show for saying in the guise of one Stewart something or other: “And Gall darn it people like me!” It matters not that this many years later, when I’m in that sort of mood only my dog understands… I rise slowly from bed, wiggling my fingers and then my toes, yawning in the wide way of someone from a “Sunny Brook Farm” story as I rise from covers saying, as I stare at my dog, who is also yawning in a similar manner although still lying in a ball… and I say… although no one can hear: “And gall darn it…. People like me!! To my REAL DOG and the walls of my bedroom.
It matters not that I have a REAL crush on Al Franken!
His colleague Leeann wants us to know that, at a time during the 2017 sex scandal monopoly in which everyone in politics and Hollywood is under special surveillance---she is willing to risk her own playboy-cum-journalist pedigree on a ‘sex-gate’ (my emphasis) outing of her own colleague. She’s going to tattle on Senator Franken, her specious (my word choice; not sure what it means) victimizer… for the sake of “other women” who “might” have to go through “this kind of” sexual VICTIMIZATION themselves someday.
Please please please with cherry and sugar and peace and light on top……. The Senator is now begging for an investigation. And what do we hear from Hannity and Co.? Fox News plasters his face up with Roger Weinstein and Bill Clinton in the repeat-a-picture Fox Formula for ‘Fibs gone Final’ ….in the Breitbart strain of Shirley Sherrod “HATES WHITE PEOPLE” just like President Obama FROM KENYA…. to say...how disgusting the ‘left is’ for treating their predators like puritans… or something that makes ABSOLUTELY no sense LOGICALLY not to mention morally or culturally….
But wait… they’re an AMERICAN-loving pretend NEWS show! They must MEAN something!!
Oh sure, see, now I get it. Franken’s asking for a “tax paid” INVESTIGATION of HIMSELF! The President is being investigated at this moment --- using our real tax dollars for nothing less than some silly, although REAL accusation involving a foreign enemy of the United States putting him in POWER of the APPLICATION of our CONSTITUTION. Franken appears to be saying --- let’s take that wasted money and put it right here in Minnesota right now for the REAL good of all Americans who really care about that Constitution. He seems to be saying, take inexhaustible amounts of tax dollars if you need to. But please come to the conclusion: “Did my fingers feel her boobies for real.” Yes that’s what this perpetrator from pompous pedestrian brick and mortar reality is really up ---TRUTH! Brick and mortar style TRUTHINESS!
The FAKE predator Franken wants a REAL investigation of his fake joke about people who REALLY prey on young females! Give me the bucket right here on real fake T.V. I’ve got to hurl bacon bits. No. I mean real BACON bits NOW. He’s making Roy Moore look like Ped-a-Bullion!
Yes. They just keep throwing this pernicious fake-Al’s pretending to be juvey face up there like the same pizza pie the child predators must have eaten while Hillary Clinton counted her money alongside chunks of URANIUM as the real fake scandal was being shared, thank God, by people on Fox and Putin’s Facebook page of “Hillary Clinton Funds CHILD SEX RING!! Hillary was drinking whatever “Al’s having” while burping and singing in her tinny Clinton voice:
“Let them eat extra extra cheese!” Real fake real children were being sold internationally according to real fake real NEWS while Hillary sang about cheese (probably fake cheese!). So, who do you believe NOW?
Yup. Let it “stick” this fake-real-fake could have been real photo of a fake feel over the fatigues boob-tweak-as Ms. Tweeden-sleeps DISGUSTING (my emphasis) photo of Al Fakin…errr……..: Let words like: molest, scandal, liberal, molest, scandal, liberal democrat, scandal, liberal, sex, uranium, liberal NOT a PATRIOT flash on and off in the real fake subconscious background. Take that Mr. And Ms. elite real flesh Bastards with college degrees who are watching RACHEL MADDOW anyways!
So what I’m saying in this blog, in addition to “I really really like Al Franken” is:
1. Pretending to grope a young woman is not the same as hoping to abduct her at a much younger age from a mall.
And 2. This SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.
And 3. But it ISN’T obvious because of 2 important … potentially profound… reasons that…make ONE VERY PROFOUNDLY disturbing reason:
Fox News is to News as Fake Reality is to Al Franken…..
That is…. Satire is to real life as comedy is to Liann Tweeden, ummmmmm I mean…
We live in the era of Fox News.
It’s getting really scary dumb out there……
This is the network “News” show where a bunch of people are now cramming to get a picture with Vladimir Putin for their next resume. They brought us the real fake President Trump.
They say the Washington Post is fake news.
Folks, this is the show where they interviewed Trayvon Martin’s killer prior to the trial that acquitted the same killer from murder charges. What did the interviewer, Sean Hannity, tell his millions of Fox viewers in America and the U.K. in that summer of 2012 about this “unfortunate” killing? What sense were we to make of an innocent black youngster being shot by a security guard guilty, according to Hannity… only of making a grave but honest mistake….?
That Zimmerman is a Christian and thought, yes-he-did, that God, Jesus, was speaking to him when he decided he must pull the trigger of his gun and shoot the young hoody-wearing black child who was walking while talking on the phone and drinking flavored iced tea in his father’s neighborhood!
Fox News presented Zimmerman as the VICTIM of this horrible crime why?
Liberal bias which causes everything from Sean Hannity to Universities MUST be dealt with.
You see if you watch Fox News you will know that an innocent Christian exercising his “stand your ground” rights one quiet Florida afternoon stalked and then killed the young Trayvon Martin who on that afternoon happened to be walking in his own neighborhood, guilty mostly of being black, dressed in a grey hoodie, and drinking flavored iced-tea. Hannity to Zimmerman: Do you think God wanted you to kill Trayvon?
The above is real. I mean real real. Hannity did interview--- Zimmerman prior to his trial! He did ask the question about God --- seeming, in his Hannity way, to put the words he wanted to hear in Zimmerman’s mouth… It was beyond strange and I felt sick watching and hearing…. But enough of me writing about real real stuff…. Let’s get back to the analytical part of this blog. It’s not easy to switch back to fake-real but….
Fox is the network “news” show that wants Hillary “locked up” based on their own “reporting” of the “Russian Uranium Scandal” that just could be if only we would NOT BELIEVE the entire Congress, our own justice departments, all of them, as well as F.B.I. and C.I.A. If we would only believe Sean Hannity, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, instead of going with Constitutional norms of some boring youngish country that declared independence from some King somewhere who cares now because they don’t know anything about Football in England for God’s sake!!!
This is the network that boasts viewers who think Hillary Clinton is President on this day November 26, 2017. Al Franken is a predator and Clinton is President and Putin is pretty cool. Obama is also the “deep state” (even though he’s Kenyan --- it’s global now) that’s after Trump just because Trump won fair and square even IF RUSSIA was involved cuz there was NO COLLUSION. You can quote Newt Gingrich on SOME of this…
These people, the Fox audience, are the real-fake-thing. They believe a conspiracy where young children are delivered into sex slavery with extra cheese and olives from Tony’s Pies to Go!! If they interviewed Big Foot on Obama’s Kenyan Muslim past, Fox “News” would gain even more audience share!
Get out of your pajamas and put down the clicker. Now walk outside and scream: I’m …..I’m…..mad as HELL at SOMEBODY… Then turn around and walk back inside and click on Fox….Watch. I dare you!
I dare anybody who can read this blog to WATCH FOX----- all the way THROUGH----- on a weeknight preferably from about 8:00 to 11:00 PM. Watch it without changing channels during commercials. You’ve got to suffer through all of it because it is BROUGHT to YOU BY those commercials. They’re the same ones that come on in breaks for Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper. Car insurance…Hotel locating applications…. It is only through the good graces of the Free Market that their fake real fake news based on real fake reality can boast millions of viewers who will never read a real fake book or vote for a Democrat like Al Franken ever!
Watch it and remember REAL people who you know and LOVE watch Fox News and they … And they believe it---every inch!
If that doesn’t scare you as much or more as a predator being elected President or Senator…. That there’s an ostensible news program reporting the “truth” of news which would have you be as outraged by a photo of a comedian fake-feeling a real playboy centerfold as if that man was a real life sexual predator… If it doesn’t scare you that this “NEWS” show can and will show you over and over again exactly as much as it needs and intends to get you to hate this Senator and everyone and anyone who votes for him because that’s their REAL JOB… then…. Well …… I guess I can thank you for the immensely painful Presidency of Trump. THANKS!
The story of Franken the predator is brought to you by the same guy who helped George Zimmerman share his experience of God speaking to him in the affirmative as he killed Trayvon Martin.
To REITERATE. Let’s Americans say Thanks (it’s just past Thanksgiving as I write this). Let’s thank Fox NEWS for real fake scary stuff!! Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and the “just enough cleavage lady” journalists. THANK YOU. I BELIEVE you wish me a nice White Christmas with President Putin and his pudgy proteges with knuckle rings stamped in URANIUM on TOP!
Thanks for not going anywhere the truth dares because your audience is powerful and passionate and your money is inexhaustible. And Gall Darn IT… we are growing less and less a country of literacy and laws. WE USED to LIKE the Constitution but that was BEFORE FOX NEWS. People read NEWSPAPERS then. What is the answer to this FAKE REAL war we appear to be having where a Senator can ‘fake feel’ his “comrade” right in front of people and resort to asking to get away with investigating himself for it. I don’t REALLY KNOW.